Am I Performing a Coup, Here?

I may very well be performing a coup, in the Native American sense of the word, I mean. Well, sort of. I actually am getting ready to attack perhaps one of America’s most beloved children’s authors. But I just can’t hold it in, anymore.

I hate Dr. Seuss.

There. I’ve said it. I cannot stand Dr. Seuss. I mean, I’m sure the Doctor himself, Theodore Seuss Geisel, was a nice enough man. I haven’t read or seen any of his other non-children’s works. He obviously must have loved children in order to write kid’s books. So I by no means think he was a bad person. So let me rephrase.

I hate Dr. Seuss children’s books.

I know Dr. Seuss books are a beloved icon of Americana. They have probably helped teach millions of children to read over the years and sparked imagination in many of those same kids. I can appreciate that, really I can. I just really cringe when I have to read one of them. I didn’t even like Dr. Seuss when I was a kid myself. I never understood why that one guy, I use the term guy loosely because I’m not sure what those weird characters  in the illustrations are supposed to be, but when that guy tried to get the other one to eat green eggs and ham. I couldn’t understand, at age 5 or so, why anyone would want another person to eat food that is so obviously spoiled. You know, because why else would eggs or ham be green? I felt that poor Sam-I-Am was the smarter of the two characters. I wouldn’t eat green eggs and ham, either. It could make you sick! I never understood why some mother would name her child Sam-I-Am. What kind of name is that? Imagine the ridicule Sam-I-Am would face at school say, when the teacher called on him.

“Who knows the answer…Yes, Sam-I-Am?”

“Uh, no, he’s Sam-I-Am, not you, teacher..”

I guess I just felt that Dr. Seuss books were talking down to me, at five or six years old, and I resented that. I did see that the Green Eggs and Ham book was about trying new things, but it was just too out there for me. I thought it was stupid that anyone would want to eat spoiled food in a tree or with a goat or fox.

grinch1And those illustrations….don’t even get me started. I never liked The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and even now those characters creep me out with their pointy heads and wierd little feet. My DH told me they kinda’ gave him nightmares, too. The only character I did like in that little movie was the dog, but then I never really met a dog I didn’t like on at least some level.

The one Dr. Seuss book I can stand to read is Oh, The Places You’ll Go. The words to that one I can read without gnashing my teeth, though the illustrations are meant to be looked at by people trippin’ on acid, I suspect. I see that on Amazon, there is a version meant to be read to your baby in utero. Getting them on Dr. Seuss before they’re even born…yikes.

Needless to say, we do not own any Dr. Seuss books at our house. I’m probably damaging my children in some way by not exposing them to the “wondrous mind” that is the good Doctor. But you see, if we have these books in our house, I am the one who will have to read them. I’m just not ready for that..

If you’re a Dr. Seuss proponent, I hope you’re not too offended, and I’m happy to hear your side of why he’s so great. Not that you’re going to change my mind. I think I’m just to grounded in reality to appreciate the books.

And my I not be struck my lightning for writing this post..

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Elaine
    Jan 11, 2009 @ 22:56:42

    I love Dr. Suess, but this post cracks me up because everything you say is true! It just doesn’t bother me. And, yeah, that one book does look like what I’d imagine an acid trip to be.

    Reply

  2. Laurie
    Jan 12, 2009 @ 15:44:13

    BLASPHEMY! Just kidding, this is hilarious. And Travis would TOTALLY agree with you. He hates that we’re reading our kids fake words and the ABC book REALLY bugs him b/c they’re not even real things that we’re teaching our kids begin with each letter.
    But I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Grinch. That was a childhood fav of mine, as were Green Eggs and Ham and The Places You’ll Go.

    Reply

  3. asmalltowndad
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 14:01:42

    Do you think my sister
    dislikes Dr. Seuess,
    maybe a little,
    even more than a big stinky Moose.

    With their faces of green
    and big scary eyes,
    these are the kind of books,
    that she will not buy.

    Dr. Seuess books like
    green eggs and ham,
    are not only stupid,
    but possibly a scam.

    So, she will not read
    those books of Seuess,
    No, not with anyone,
    Not even a Goose.

    Will she read them
    while drinking a cup of juice,
    no, she will not read,
    those Dr. Seuess.

    Will she read them
    while under a tree of spruce,
    No she will not read
    a Dr. Seuess.

    She will not read
    a Dr. Seuess,
    because the time spent with her children,
    will be put to better use!

    Reply

  4. Samantha
    Jan 13, 2009 @ 14:43:41

    oh my!!! This is funny!! I do like Dr. Seucess!!! I think they are funny in some…but on your note about Sam-I-Am….I was called that in Elementary school….I even had the shirt to go with it…(probably still do somewhere lol)

    Reply

  5. Terri Anne
    Jan 14, 2009 @ 01:15:05

    Char… I feel EXACTLY the same way… should we start a movement??? 🙂 The illustrations creep me out too. I don’t recall having any of his books in my house growing up, and Madalynn doesn’t have any either now that I think about it.

    Reply

  6. craftymommy
    Jan 15, 2009 @ 16:43:47

    Even though I don’t hate the Dr. Seuss books; I never saw the widespread appeal for them. So I totally see where you’re coming from. Oddly enough, I’ve never bought my daughter a Dr. Seuss book, but she has a ton of them from everyone else (everyone knows my favorite gift for her to receive is a book).

    Reply

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