This Is Why It Takes Two Hours To Get Ready

On Wednesday evenings we have church. Ash usually tries to come home from work early, which is actually just on time or normal, not early.  He tries to get in at about 5:00, usually it’s a couple minutes after and I have dinner ready so we can eat and get ready to go. We need to leave for church just after 6:00, so we don’t have a whole lot of time for messing around. I try to have the kids mostly ready. Naturally, we have to wash their faces after they eat and get shoes on, go potty, etc.

So last night, we ate our dinner and everything was going pretty well. I went back to brush my teeth and finish getting ready. Ava really likes the fact that she is now big enough to open the door and let the dogs out by herself. I sometimes ask her to let Sydney in after she’s been out a while and she really thinks she’s mommy’s helper. If one of the dogs is near the door, she’ll say something like, “I think Caleb needs to go potty.” Then she lets him out into the back yard. Ok, so last night I’m in my bathroom and she comes in and says, “I let the dogs out.” We always let the dogs out just before we leave, so I didn’t think it was a big deal. She was just doing what she always sees us doing before we go somewhere. I thanked her and continued getting my clothes out I was going to wear. Then she ran out of the room and ran back in and said, “Mommy, I let the dogs out- the FRONT DOOR!”  I asked her if she was serious while I was running to the front of the house. She said “yes!”

I opened the front door and saw Sydney, our Australian Cattle Dog messing around in the front yard. Well, that wasn’t the dog I was worried about. I ran out, in my apron, yes, I wear an apron while I’m cooking. Aren’t I soo domestic. I had just finished darning socks- ok, that’s not true. But I do wear an apron, and it’s sorta’ ugly. It has strawberries and blueberries all over it. I just don’t like to get food stains on my clothes. ANYWAY, I ran out  barefoot, mind you,  in my apron and saw Caleb waaay down the street. There were families clearly scared out of their wits standing near their garages with their children huddled up against them. I know the sight of a very large, black, German Shepherd bounding down the street must have been pretty frightening. For a moment, I couldn’t help but laugh a tiny bit, on the inside of course. Caleb is about as goofy and harmless as they come, but I know psychologically, from working at the Humane Society, that people are more afraid of black dogs than lighter colored dogs. Luckily, all I had to do was yell his name and he came running back up the street to me, happy as ever to be home. He ran into the house like he had been off at war for two years. Then, after the dogs were safely inside, I had a talk with Ava about not letting the dogs out the front door and not opening the front door PERIOD. From the dirty looks I was getting from down the street, I know we and our vicious beast must have been the talk of the neighborhood that evening and probably today, too. I don’t think it’s kosher to yell down the street that your two year old let the dogs out. It may look kinda’ wimpy to blame a toddler- “But sheee did it!!”

So, one crisis averted. I came back in and went into the bathroom once again. I went into water closet to use the bathroom before leaving. I heard Ava say, “I need to go potty!” She was talking to Ash who was also in the bedroom finishing getting ready. Well, splash on the tile. She didn’t make it to the potty. When you have a potty trainer, you can’t mess around when they say they need to go potty. She wasn’t wearing pants yet ’cause she was getting dressed for church and hadn’t made it that far, so she just had on her underwear. I guess that’s a good thing beacuse that would have been just one more worry. Now, Ash had that mess to clean up and it was starting to get late. He washed her up and sprayed Clorox Cleanup on the tile and cleaned that up in record time. Way to go Ash. Finally, I think we were ready to get the shoes and socks on and go to church. You know, this whole getting ready to go thing seemed so easy just one hour earlier.

This is why I have to start getting ready to go anywhere two hours early..