As One Year Approaches..

It’s almost been one year that Binhjamin has been home with us. I’ve been reading around blog land all the Family Days that are around this time. It’s fun to see how everyone has changed in the last year.

A close friend reminded me of a post I made about one year ago and the desperate feelings I was having. In some ways, those feelings are so raw and close to my heart, it seems like I’ll never forget the waiting..and wanting, the checking email literally round the clock and the pain of our approval not being in that inbox day after day. Then, in other ways, those feelings are like a distant memory, kinda’ like the pain of childbirth. You know it hurt really bad, you just don’t actually remember it literally. I think sometimes God does that to our memory because no woman would have more than one child if she really did distinctly remember that pain! Same with adoption, it seems.

It has been almost one year that I’ve been the mother of two. There were times I never thought I’d be a mother because I wasn’t sure I really wanted that. Now when I think of the things my two little munchkins come up with that make me smile or laugh during the course of one day, I don’t know what I was thinking or what, if anything really, I was afraid of or waiting for.

Binh has starting saying “mommy” now, not just ma-ma.  Sweet words. And he is starting to pretend play lots more. He and Ava often play with the kitchen set they got from Santa for Christmas. For some reason he is always “drinking coffee” and “reading” a book at the little booth the set has. Insight into his future? Who knows, but it makes me smile.

It’s hard to believe that I’m stressing over getting a birthday party together. How lucky am I that choosing a theme and getting out invitations are top on my list for next week? Last year at this time I was almost in need of a straight jacket over worry about getting this little guy home and in my arms. I could just see him looking more fragile, paler, with every new photo. Now my biggest worry with him is getting him to stay away from the salt shaker when I’m in the shower. (He likes to dump it out all over the table. Who knows why? Maybe it reminds him of the beach!)

Most days I really don’t think about that time of waiting, or about his adoption process at all. My days are filled with getting meals, baths, potty training and the like. We’re lucky to be in that day to day family routine. Then, there are a few times, like tonight, when I think about all we went through, and all this young child went through, to get where we are now. I am so. lucky. So blessed to be this cool little man’s mom. Binh is so smart, so energetic, and yet so reserved and observant at times. A complex being is my little guy. I can’t wait to see what the next year holds. I want to hear him talk so I know what is going on in that complicated head of his. For now, though, I’ll just be happy with where we are. I really do think about the moments I have with him (and Ava, too!) during the course of our day. The time I spend with them that I won’t forget, even if they do.

I am just happy to have this boy as my son. I hope I can live up to that title of Mommy he now calls me.

binh-too

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Michelle
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 12:37:50

    Wow- it doesn’t seem like a whole year has gone by. I remember those days when you were frantic. Congratulations on your upcoming one year anniversary of having Binh home and being a family of four!

    Reply

  2. Anne
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 15:38:10

    Oh Man!! A year. That is awesome. I got birthday party planning coming up too. Think we are going to pull off another park birthday and trying to keep Jman interested in a sports theme. He changed it on me in the last month last year 🙂

    We need to get together again – I hate I missed you girls for the shopping outing. See you soon!

    Reply

  3. leanne
    Mar 14, 2009 @ 18:20:19

    Loved this post. Love Binh…what a little blessing he is in all of our lives!

    And guess what?!? I am off Wednesday! It will make it that much easier to have a blast with you guys!!

    Reply

  4. asmalltowndad
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 13:32:11

    I love these kids, just wish they were CLOSER!
    If you ever question your parenting, just look back over the past year and see what great memories and life he has had, and then think of what kind of year Binh would have had still in the orphanage. We are lucky to have him and he is extremely lucky to have your love!

    Reply

  5. sarah
    Mar 16, 2009 @ 14:22:27

    I can’t believe it has been almost a year too! What has happened to my sense of “time”?

    I am truly so happy for you all. I know you are wonderful parents and Binh and Ava both are so lucky!

    I can’t wait to see you all soon!

    Reply

  6. Elaine
    Mar 18, 2009 @ 14:08:05

    I so relate to this post. I could have written this post! It’s been almost a year for us, too. What a difference a year makes! Congratulations on this milestone.

    Reply

  7. Terri Anne
    Mar 18, 2009 @ 23:53:23

    Enjoy this special milestone. I related to so much of what you said in your post…. I can easily draw those feelings & emotions involved in the waiting quickly to the surface too.
    Happy Family Day!!

    Reply

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