The Pioneer Woman Ruined My Life

I’m sure if you’re a blog reader (which, you are since you’re reading this right now) then you’ve heard of the Pioneer Woman, Ree Drummond, also known as the Devil. You see, she has ruined my life. How you ask? I mean, I have never even met the woman, and yet she has changed the course of my life forever.

Oh, I know from a distance PW or P-Dub, as she likes to call herself, seems all witty and fun and full of interesting stories. She in fact  could date the XX (dos equis) Most Interesting Man in the World if she wasn’t already married to a cowboy rancher and raising her four children. Yes, she lives/works on a ranch and yet is able to home school her children, decorate her house and have a garden full of beautiful flowers and vegetables, take amazing photographs and master Photoshop CS4 on her own while maintaining a blog that often gets like 40,000 comments on a giveaway post. She also has a section on her blog, one of the 5 sections, that is dedicated to cooking. Yes, the woman cooks, too. She is like a down home, likeable Martha Stewart. I hate that. Ok, actually I love it. But I hate it. NO, love..ok moving on.

The Cooking Section. This is where she has ruined my life. Pioneer Woman makes these wonderful recipes that she takes step-by-step photos of (see the aforementioned amazing photography and CS4) and then posts the finished product’s photo along with a printable version of the recipe. Yes, she does this for free to the public because she’s so nice and fun and interesting. Let’s preface my rant with the point that I don’t cook. I don’t enjoy cooking and I’m happy with that. I like to open packets, mix them with water and pour them over the chicken I slap into the oven. I like to think of myself as Easy To Please. I don’t hang out with other women and exchange recipes or talk about the best way to make pot roast. Then one day, I got a wild hair and tried PW’s salsa recipe. She wrote a post on salsa (yes it was an interesting read) about how she likes restaurant style salsa, without vinegar, etc. I so totally agreed with her that I went to the store and got all the stuff to make homemade salsa. Therein lies my demise. Oh yes, that salsa was good. Very good. So good in fact, that I can not buy jarred salsa from the store. I just can’t know that I know I can make the perfect salsa and be happy with that cheap Picante sauce (you know what I’m talking about). Next, I tried roasting a whole chicken with fresh herbs and infused it with lemon, onion, and garlic. It changed my life. I now grow herbs that I actually cut up and use. No longer can I go buy the rotisserie chicken full of water from Wal- Ma3t and be happy. No, not when I can do it better at home.

Then came the straw that broke this camel’s back. I made the Pioneer Woman’s cinnamon toast. Seems harmless, right? WRONG! How good can cinnamon toast be, really? Do not ask, nor go to find the answer because you’ll never be able to eat regular cinnamon toast again. On Saturday, I opened up PW’s post on the right way to make cinnamon toast. I, of course, had eaten the wrong cinnamon toast my whole life- toast bread, then put on butter, sugar, and cinnamon. I thought it was good. I thought so very wrong. PW says to 1)put it in the oven and 2)mix real butter, sugar, cinnamon, and vanilla in a bowl and then put it on the bread before putting it in the oven. All I can say is this was like I had made some sort of pastry at home. Ash said if it wasn’t just bread shaped, it could be sold at Starb*cks for $3 a pop.

So now, thanks to Mrs. Drummond, my life is ruined. I am actually looking forward to next weekend so that I can take a new recipe from PW to my Sunday school potluck. I go to her website and browse the food for something easy and interesting to make. I was never this woman before. I’m turning into someone unrecognizable to myself. Strangely, I kind of like this new person, too. She cooks a lot better than that other chick.

P.S. Ok, so I actually love Ree Drummond and all the stuff she does. She also has a cookbook out, too. (big surprise. I think she’s working on a cure for cancer in her free time)


9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sarah
    May 18, 2010 @ 02:24:01

    as you know, I love P-Dub as well. I have heard of the salsa love and have to tell you – – I am afraid to make it myself in fear that I may have to have it 3-4 times a week. Honestly. She is amazing. A friend of ours gave us her book for Christmas and it is WONDERFUL!!!!!! You have got to try the pancakes. I always liked Aunt J, but these are really something else. I have not read the toast recipe (yet) but have lived life eating the wrong type as well – clearly I am not saved. We will have to add it into the mix for Saturday morning fun breakfast this week, there are only so many pancakes a woman should eat.

    Did you hear her true life love story is being written as a book, so now she is also going to be a best seller novel writer. Go figure. The woman is GOLD! I was sucked in by that love story and will 100% be buying the book when it comes out. 🙂 You should post some pictures with your fancy picture taking as well the next time you make something of hers. 🙂


  2. craftercrazed
    May 18, 2010 @ 03:40:43

    I was drawn to your blog by the title about the Pioneer Woman. Glad I came! Funny (but oh-so-true) commentary.
    I, too, wondered how PW did so much, so well, in only the 24 hours a day that are allotted the rest of us. Must be in the genes. Lucky her.
    I’ll be back to visit, if you don’t mind. And, by the way, thanks for the link to the Cinnamon Toast — it’s now printed out and staring me in the face. I may not ever make the toast, but sure laughed out loud at PW’s comments as she cooked and photographed and ate. Whew.


  3. Emma
    May 27, 2010 @ 12:58:53

    I also have wondered how she is able to do all that she does and I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s no way she could actually do all that stuff by herself. I’m convinced that she has a housekeeper/nanny/tutor, etc. to help her out. Using logic, that’s the only thing that makes sense. I sure wish I had enough money for a housekeeper at least.

    PS- It’s good to see that PW got you cooking!


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  5. Heather
    Mar 07, 2011 @ 14:50:22

    ok, I think you’ve forced me to find her blog. As a child, Cinnamon Toast was one of the things mom fixed for us as we were recovering from illnesses…. I think it’s a cinnamon toast day. So now I have to try it the “right” way. We made it at home by spreading butter on bread, mixing the cinnamon and sugar and sprinkling that on top, then toasting in a toaster oven until the sugar melted….. yum!


  6. Michelle
    Mar 10, 2011 @ 17:33:36

    A little late to comment on this post, but I just had to tell you… When you’re right, you’re RIGHT. Just made the salsa yesterday. Have to make more today. I’ve been searching for years to find a recipe that would taste like this. A-MAY-ZING. All the guys loved it and I know I’ve created a salsa monster. I’ll be asked to make this all the time now.

    Also tried the cinnamon toast. Yum. It was a letdown to my kids, but only because when I asked one kid if he wanted any, he thought he heard me say ‘french toast.’ He then went around telling all the other kids that mom is making french toast for breakfast and asked who all wanted any. So, they were all looking at my toast like, “What the heck happened, Mom?” But, still… They all had to admit it was good, if you’re not already in the mood for french toast.


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